You’re Raising the Grandchildren- Now What?
Today we will talk about the heartache and unexpected challenges that come with taking on the role of primary caregivers for your grandkids, so you can rediscover the joy and purpose in this new chapter of life. That’s all coming up next, right here on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity. Stay Tuned.
This is Episode 2, and today we're talking about the rollercoaster of emotions and hurdles you face when your retirement plans turn into full-time parenting again. Which brings me to what we're talking about today... the biggest issue of all that gets in the way of finding peace and fulfillment in this unexpected journey.
Have you ever felt like life threw you a curveball, stepping back into a parenting role when you least expected it? Throughout today's chat, I shared my personal struggles—how my dreams of a serene retirement got swept away and replaced with daily caregiving for my grandchildren. The real crux of the problem isn't just the daily grind; it's dealing with our own emotional turmoil, the legal quagmires, and the financial strain that hit us when we're supposed to be winding down. Many of us tried the usual coping mechanisms, maybe a bit more wine than usual, or shutting down conversations with friends who just can't relate. Here's what we need to do instead: embrace the chaos, find support, and most importantly, let go of expectations to craft a new, rewarding, albeit sometimes messy, life path with our grandkids. This shift in stance is imperative, and trust me, it paves the way for a transformation you never thought possible.
Thanks for joining us today for another episode of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity.
Love the show? Feel a connection? If you’re nodding along, take a second to share it with a friend that need to hear. And if you’re feeling generous, drop us a review if you’re listening on Apple or Spotify—just scroll down in your app. Got something more personal to share? Shoot me an email at laurabrazan@gmail.com click or click on the little microphone in the bottom right corner of our home page at grandparents-raising-grandchildren.org. Keep the conversation going on Facebook @GrandparentsRaisingGrandchildren: NurturingThroughAdversity.
Join us next week on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity, as we tackle the elephant in the room – the complex emotions and the quest for family healing that comes with raising your grandkids, so that you can build a future of resilience and hope.
Thank you for tuning into today's episode. It's been a journey of shared stories, insights, and invaluable advice from the heart of a community that knows the beauty and challenges of raising grandchildren. Your presence and engagement mean the world to us and to grandparents everywhere stepping up in ways they never imagined.
Remember, you're not alone on this journey. For more resources, support, and stories, visit our website and follow us on our social media channels. If today's episode moved you, consider sharing it with someone who might find comfort and connection in our shared experiences.
We look forward to bringing more stories and expert advice your way next week. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other.
00:00 - 00:00 Challenges and triumphs of raising grandchildren explored.
09:35 - 09:35 Be yourself, imagine we're together, welcome.
12:22 - 12:22 Embrace change, flourish, and help spread awareness.
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Are you caring for grandchildren you hadn't anticipated raising?
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Feel like you're barely holding on, grappling with an uncertain future? There are so many challenges for grandparents raising grandchildren. Join us in this safe place where we can talk about the struggles, explore solutions, and rewrite the future for our grandchildren. Stay tuned for you're raising your grandchildren.
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Now what?
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Welcome to grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity in this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of grandparents raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial, and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings, and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma, and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.
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We'll discuss how we can change the course of history history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles. This podcast was made especially for you.
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Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.
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Welcome to the launch episode of grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity I'm Laura Brazon, affectionately known as the real doctor Laura by my children. Our lives took a sudden turn when, after 35 years as a mother and ten years as a single parent, my husband and I received a call to take in our grandchildren to prevent them from entering the foster care system due to their parents inability to care for them.
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The lack of resources and support groups in our home area left us feeling overwhelmed and isolated. It took months to navigate the bureaucratic hurdles to access the essential services for our grandchildren. At 66, I found myself unprepared for the emotional toll of this new chapter in our lives.
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Kind of like noticing similar vehicles on the road once you own one. I discovered an amazing community of grandparents facing similar challenges.
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This realization fueled my determination to seek solutions and support for myself and others in similar situations.
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Through relentless research and interviews, I embarked on a journey to create a podcast that serves as a lifeline for grandparents. Navigating this uncharted territory, I've weathered personal hardships, including abuse, chronic illness, divorce, and and the loss of a child, yet I remain resilient and committed to empowering others in similar circumstances.
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Today, I'd like to touch on the transformative power of resilience and stability in the face of adversity. First of all, I want to give a warm welcome to everyone listening today, and especially to my fellow grandparents who are on this crazy, humbling, and unexpected journey raising grandchildren. Like many of you, after I first got my grandchildren, I felt like the life I had previously known had suddenly turned upside down. My visions of traveling and having an exciting but serene retirement gone. Any idea I had of rescuing the kids soon faded away after my spouse and I were arguing almost every other day. I was desperately trying to cope with this new pseudo surreal and uncertain reality, which, to be honest, was really something right out of a horror movie. I began drinking more to cope. Friends stopped returning my calls, and I really, honestly, I didn't blame them. Who in their right mind, at our age, would want to talk to someone with a couple of screaming kids in the background?
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And not long after, I didn't even recognize the woman that was staring back at me in the mirror every morning?
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I panicked. Stop this train.
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I just want to get off.
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That's how I felt the first six months.
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But a lot has changed since then, and before I explain to you why, I want you to know that I know how it feels to be a primary caregiver again.
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Exhausted navigating all the emotional, legal, financial, and day to day caregiving challenges, it can feel so isolating and overwhelming navigating emotions and logistics that you never thought in a million years you'd be doing at this time in your life.
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Mourning over a retirement that you've spent your entire life planning for.
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However, I would like to propose to you that it can be just the starting point of a transformation, not the conclusion.
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I'm here to tell you from the very bottom of my heart and from my own experience, that this new chapter of your life can be as rewarding as it is demanding. Tragedy always offers an opportunity, and in this case, it can be, to create a new bucket list, if you will, and provide opportunities to forge deeper, more lasting bonds with our partners, our families, and our grandchildren. And in doing so, leave an indelible mark on each other's lives.
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Through this journey, I've learned that when we shift our perspective from what we've lost to what opportunities we could potentially create out of disaster, the entire narrative changes. When we look in the mirror, we can either feel disappointed about the person we see staring back at us, or we can feel like a miracle in motion. And when we do, we don't feel like we're just filling a gap or taking on a role any longer. We realize that we're actually building bridges to the future.
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However, and I hope you'll hear me when I say my path to finding joy and fulfillment in this role was not immediate, far from it.
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I've locked myself in my room so many times wanting to give up because I couldn't handle a situation. Or even more so, my reaction to one it involved breaking down, seeking support, letting go of what others thought, and embracing all of who I was in my messiest of moments, and most importantly, allowing myself to feel worthy of what I envisioned on the other side.
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It's about more than just surviving. It's about thriving. Not just me, not just you, but our whole grand families.
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It may not be the picture you imagined for yourself when you retired, but it can be even better. We can't change what's happened, but we can change what we do about it. And before I go on any further, I want you to know that my intention for you, each and every one of you grandparents out there listening, is that you belong here.
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Yes, I'll be sharing conversations with experts on a variety of subjects, and some of the information will be practical and some of it will be very personal. Not all these episodes will be for you. And if they aren't, just skip over them. I want you to take what you need and move on to the next or listen to it later. Every one of our situations are different. Everyone's needs are different. But I like you to think of every bit of information that I share with you as coming directly from my heart. I want you to feel welcome in this home, just as you are.
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So pretend the video camera is on and that I can see you just as you are, and that you can see me just as I am at this very moment, with no makeup, my hair twisted up on top of my head, secured with a hair clip because I rarely have time to do anything else with it. And I'm usually wearing a comfortable t shirt over sweatpants or leggings, just like I am now. Imagine the kids running around playing in the background. My mic has a noise canceling feature, so it cancels out background noise. If you were here, I'd offer you your favorite drink. We'd be together in a space where we both feel safe, where we can share anything, say anything. The best and the worst of what's happened this week.
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I do everything to make you feel comfortable, because you're my guest and I want you to know you can show up as you are. You're not judged for anything you've thought or done. I don't expect you to be someone you're not. In fact, I don't expect anything from you at all. All I wish for you is to feel welcome in my home and for all of my friends and family. It's for you to live the best life you can have, heal from the hurts, and always be there to give you a hug if you need one.
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Because that's what you deserve. That's what we all deserve, to know that we're loved just the way we are.
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So know that I love you, because I actually do.
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Even though we've never met, the strength we draw from connecting with others that makes us feel okay with ourselves is immeasurable.
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I want this podcast to be such a community for you, a place for sharing, learning, and growing together. And by gleaning from what experts have to offer us and sharing all of our stories, we'll tackle the practical and emotional aspects of raising grandchildren together.
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I believe every challenge faced is an opportunity for growth. It requires lots of grace and gives us a chance to rewrite history.
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As Oprah Winfrey so beautifully stated, things that happen to us, happen for us.
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Embracing this role has not only changed my life, but has filled it with unexpected joy and purpose beyond description. Together, I invite you to please explore how you can not only navigate, but flourish in this role, creating a grand legacy that celebrates the richness of this experience. It's so very nice to meet all of you, and I do hope you'll come back. I can't wait to see you again on the next episode of grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity please consider sharing this episode with a friend who may benefit from the support and insights shared here. Your review of the show not only helps others discover these valuable resources, but also raises awareness of the unique challenges faced by grandparents in similar situations.
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Your one sentence review can make a significant impact in spreading awareness and support for the mental, physical, and spiritual well being of grandparents raising grandchildren. Thank you for being a part of our community and for helping us amplify the voices of those in need. Are you feeling emotionally exhausted from navigating the challenges of coping with family trauma, such as the loss, deployment, addiction, mental health struggles, or incarceration of a child? As a grandparent raising grandchildren, you are striving to create a stable and nurturing environment for your grandchildren while also yearning for resolution within your family.
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How can we rebuild and find meaning after such profound experiences? Join us next week as we delve into the unspoken struggles and complexities faced by grandparents raising grandchildren, addressing the elephant in the room, and exploring paths to healing and resilience. Thank you for tuning in to grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity remember, you are not alone and together we can find strength and hope in the face of adversity. Peace be with you. And I pray that you find some time this week to listen to your inner wisdom amongst the noise and the pandemonium of this world.
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