Cassandra Crawley Mayo- A Woman Leading With Purpose

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In this uplifting episode, we sit down with Cassandra Crawley Mayo, author, speaker, and mentor with over 25 years of experience in leadership and coaching. As a former vice president of a global Fortune 500 company and one of the first african american women in her field, Cassandra understands the challenges of navigating challenging spaces while advocating for diversity and inclusion.

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Having faced her own battles with self neglect, imposter syndrome, and burnout, she now dedicates her life to empowering women to reclaim their worth and live fulfilling lives both at work and at home.

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Join us as Cassandra shares her inspiring journey and offers valuable insights for grandmothers raising their grandchildren. Discover how to confront self sabotaging behaviors, embrace your unique identity, and build a supportive community. This episode is not just about overcoming adversity, it's about thriving in every aspect of life. Tune in to learn how you can empower yourself and the next generation.

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Welcome to grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity in this podcast, we will delve deep into the challenges and triumphs of grandparents raising grandchildren as we navigate the complexities of legal, financial, and emotional support. I invite you to join us on a journey of exploring thoughts, feelings, and beliefs surrounding this growing segment of our society. Drawing from real stories and advice, we will explore the nuances of child rearing for children who have experienced trauma and offer valuable resources to guide you through the intricate journey of kinship care.

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We'll discuss how we can change the course of history by rewriting our grandchildren's future, all within a supportive community that understands the unique joys and struggles. This podcast was made especially for you.

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Welcome to a community where your voice is heard, your experiences are valued, and your journey is honored.

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Powerful women have always amazed me, and whenever I have the opportunity to talk to one, I get so excited that I just want to ask them, what's it like to have lived in your shoes? Speaking to my next guest is one of those golden opportunities that fills me with anticipation. Cassandra Crawley is not only an incredibly accomplished leader, but she has also made history as one of the first african american women to fill numerous positions of leadership throughout her career. Can you imagine the insight she has to share? She was there during the civil rights movement in Birmingham, Alabama, navigating challenges that many of us can only read about. Join me as we dive into her inspiring journey and uncover how she has turned adversity into strength. Tune in for an enlightening conversation, next on grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity Cassandra, you've been a successful corporate leader, and you insist that authenticity and transparency are pertinent for women to be successful, not just in their business lives, but it's the key to living our best lives ever. I'm so excited for you to share today with our listeners your amazing life and how it brought you to your mission today to empower other women.

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Well, first of all, Laura, I just want to thank you for the invitation to be on your podcast. I am humbled by it based on the work that you're doing. And I look forward to sharing, perhaps, how I've gotten to where I am today. So let me share a little bit about my backstory.

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I was born in a small town, and I was born as, actually, I was a only child. And my parents had certain values, like everyone else does. Like many people have had values. And one of them was do unto others like you would have them to do unto you. Another one was, why don't we eat together as a family? I don't want you to eat by yourself. Your dad eat by himself. Let's just as the table, we sat down and had conversations. Another thing was, my grandfather was a Baptist minister. And I say that because my dad was a preacher's kid and it was necessary, it was critical that we attend the church on Sundays. And if we did not, my grandfather will come by the home and say, what's going on with you guys?

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So I say that to say that I grew up in that type of setting. My parents worked hard.

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I could tell. And also, despite of all that, my family or what has happened in my life, I always say, your parents did the best they could with what they knew at that time.

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And I also say that because one of the things that I was eager to do was leave home. I wanted to be on my own. I wanted to be independent. I just wanted to do my own thing. My parents, to me, were very strict, and I was upset about that. And now when I look back, I'm so glad that they were, because I would not be where I am today.

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I had the honor, I say, of going to college. Well, let me back up a little bit. I was born during the civil rights movement, and my mom was a fifth grade teacher. And during that time, they were doing what they called a study project. And they wanted my mom to teach at an all white school. And it was far away. She would have to drive almost 45 minutes to an hour to go to school. And of course, she decided that I should go with her. And I was upset about that.

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So I was voluntold. I didn't volunteer that. And her reason behind it, because she did not want me to be home alone from school, because she wasn't sure what would happen if I were by myself. I like that, looking back, because I started spreading out my wings in regards to inclusion a bit. I was treated. It was interesting how I was treated, but I always said, because my mom was at that school, she would protect me. And so when it was time for me to go to college, I wanted to go to a historical black college, because I've always been in a white school.

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I'm the only African American. My mom and the janitor and the cooks, the cafeteria workers.

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And when I did go to college, I just felt a sense of comfort. I felt comfortable because there were people there like me, and I got along with everybody. It was just fun. I was away from home. I pledged in a sorority, and I really enjoyed that. And I also started taking advantage of our placement office, the career placement office. And I say that because they still have them today, but a lot of kids do not take advantage of those opportunities. And because of that, that's how I got my first job. And my first job was, you would never guess, was Birmingham, Alabama, and the civil rights movement. That was where my first job was.

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Wow. You were lined up from the beginning to do righteous work. Exactly. Good comeback. Righteous work. That's right. What did you see through your mother's eyes? She must have had an influential person. In her life that put her in. That position in an all white school.

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My mom said that when they were growing up, the only thing that they could do is teach or be a nurse. That was the only job they could get. My dad worked in the post office, and he said that's kind of the only job. Or there was a shipyard there in the Newport News Hampton area, where they built the ships, but he chose to work in the post office.

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What I saw with my mom is she never taught me, but I heard she was a phenomenal teacher. I also used to hear that she would get all the problem kids, and the parents wanted her to have their kids because they felt that she could really straighten them out, and she did, and I can attest to that. When my mom passed a couple of years ago, a lot of her students came to her service, and just the things they said about her was just heart wrenching that she cared, and she taught them. They learned so much. They loved her. So that's where I get the proof that she was definitely a great teacher. One of the things that is scriptural that I've learned is it says, bring up a child the way they should go and they will not depart from it. And when I got my first job and I moved to Birmingham, Alabama, I really was naive, because I was protected somewhat by my parents. And when I got there, it all started with me being the first african american female who worked for Chrysler. A management role.

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It was actually Chrysler finance department. And one of my responsibilities was to repossess cars.

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And the individuals in the office knew that probably wouldn't be a good idea to go out by myself, you know, to do that. But what I would say is, they were very nice to me, and maybe they felt they should be. It was like they protected me. I learned a lot. I learned how to do ceramics, and, you know, I did things that I did not do in my hometown. You know, I didn't crochet and I didn't do that. So they had different things that they did that where I was learning. And also, I believe that based on my work ethic, my authenticity, I was even authentic then about some things. I was still cautious.

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Even when my parents were so concerned, they wanted to come and see who I was working for. So they drove all the way to Birmingham just to check my environment out, see where I lived. Were they comfortable with that? The community I was in, the neighborhood I was in, and that was a demonstration that they really cared about my well being. And I say that because there's some parents that they go to school and that's it.

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It's kind of like in a nursing home. You put your parents in a nursing home and you may not see them again. Yeah.

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Yeah. How did that affect you working into positions of leadership and coaching? Well, I'm going to tell you about another job that I got. And like I said, I was somewhat. I was naive. And that probably, to me, at that time, was a good thing, because I focused more on doing a great job than just doing ordinary. I'm an individual who likes to learn. I still like to learn. You put me in an environment, I'm like, yeah, let me learn this. Let me learn that. So I learned the job, and unfortunately, I got laid off during that time. Then I remember getting another job after I got the job. The human resources managed. This is in a different state. The human resource manager called me and offered me this position. And I said, sure, I will take it. I was so excited. And the first thing he said is, thank goodness I met my quota.

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And I was like, hmm, you know, and that was a job. I was naive. I didn't really like, okay, you know, and I'm saying that to say, if I knew then what I know now. I'm not sure what I would have done, how I would have reacted. And obviously he didn't know any better. But to say that, and I got a job as a general manager, the first african american female general manager that worked for courtyard by Marriott. And when I went in there, what I did was I pretended that hotel was my hotel. And by doing that, I worked that hotel like it was my business. And that's how I became successful. And also I was like a trailblazer or for others, even though, you know, when things would happen in the hotel, they're going to either go see Mister Marriott or somebody besides me.

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And then some of them would say, well, I want to see the general manager.

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And when I would come out to talk to them, they would say, oh, my gosh, no wonder the hotel's a mess, you know? So those are the things that I went through. But what it did, it strengthened me, and I actually started working harder, not smarter, you know, like, I had to prove that I was qualified for the job, not get the job, because of my race.

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And that continued to happen. Every role I had after that, I was always the first african american female in a position. And that was during the time when they need to meet their quote, unquote. And I'm just so happy that I did a great job at everything that I did, and I'm grateful for that. How did you bridge the gap between, obviously, your parents taught you grace, the prejudice that you faced, both as a woman and as an african american woman? How did you bridge those to stand up for what you felt was right when you weren't treated as you felt you should have been? Like many other people, I struggle, you know, I had some rough ups and downs in life being treated like I was, but it was my faith that really kept me centered. And wherever I would go, one of the first things I would do is find a church. I would ask people. And that was also a way where I met people. I'd go places, I didn't know anybody, so I would meet people, and particularly if they had a dress on or something that I liked or that hair, I would say, wow, I love that outfit you have on. And that's kind of how I met people. And I was authentic about it because I did. And then I would kind of observe them and say, well, do you go to church?

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And what church do you go to? And then I would go to that church. So the word and that foundation really helped me. It helped me so much to see that sometimes he would say, vengeance is mine. I. And I'm like, okay. So when people treated me not so nice, I was able to see what happened to them down the line. And I wasn't proud of it. But I'm like, isn't that interesting? I always felt that God said, if you gonna handle it, I'm gonna take my hands off of it. So I let him handle it. And it was just amazing, some of the things that I saw for people.

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And I've even had individuals that really, really admired and respected me after a while getting to know me, and they would ask me to coach them, which was interesting. And I'm like, okay, I can do this.

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Let's take that and put that into the framework of a grand mother who is raising grandchildren and whose most important goal is to leave a greater legacy for them. They may have seen bad things, they may have witnessed poor leadership through their parents and the environments they've been in. But how can we put that into a framework for grandparents? Imagine this, and let's put ourselves in their shoes.

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Perhaps the background they had wasn't good. They're of age where they have probably have some, what I would say, behaviors because of what they have witnessed.

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And if we were in their shoes and something happened to my parents, what a blessing for somebody to want me. I put it in that because everybody doesn't have that look how many foster kids are out there.

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I mean, the impact that that can have on you, because I always say what happens in your childhood has a lot to do with as an adult. And I have a lot of friends who were raised by their grandparents, and that's all they talk about. They're like 40, 50, 60. Well, my grandmother said this and my grandmother said that. I'm like, wow, that's neat. And then I'm like, well, when I visited my grandmother, I used to go to New York City every summer, and she had a huge, I mean, she had eleven kids, and I was just in awe as a little girl to see her cook for all those people. One of the things she used to do, she had the stack of plates and the way she would dry and put one under the other and dry that and put the other over here. And that stuff fascinated me. And I still remember that as a kid.

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And I know looking at her, she would do anything for all of us. If you can think of the number of kids, imagine the number of grandchildren that she had. And I just, man, it's just unbelievable to see what her family are doing now because of her you know, it's amazing. So I always say, never underestimate the power that you have for kids because they don't so much say do what you say, but they will watch how you make them feel. And that's any of us. Any of us.

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I know of a couple, both of them are in wheelchairs and they're raising three children. And I can't imagine how they do it. But I know that to be successful in a situation like that, you've got to have a sense of levity.

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Yeah. I think about your grandmother, and I think if she was inspirational to people that way, raising eleven children, that alone, I mean, I don't care what else you do. She had to have a sense of humor. That's true. And she did. She absolutely did. Yes, she did. You know, remember when I said that your parents do the best they could with what they had? And there are certain things that I wish I knew how to do now, but I didn't because I wasn't taught that, for example, how to ski, how to really be a great swimmer, you know, and if in fact, you are raising. And my mom always says, if I'd have known those things, I would have done it.

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And I just encourage individuals that do those things, make them learn how to swim. That's survival. You know, let them go out with their friends. Once you find out who their friends are and what their environment is, but you hold them so tight.

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And that's how my mom, my mom really was a good guy and the dad was the bad guy, you know, so she didn't want me to do something. She said, go ask your dad. And I just think that even as you raise them as grandparents, you know, we are so, we're wiser.

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The world is so different. And even though you may tell them something, they be like, yeah, right. Tell you this. When they get older, they'll say, now I understand why grandma said that. It makes so much sense. And I hear people say that all the time because they were wise. But of course, we didn't think they knew anything. Who are you to tell me, you know?

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And it's kind of like if this person had these shoes, and I want those shoes, you know, because they start comparing themselves, but they don't really know what's going on in the household. Everybody looks happy when you come outside, but you never ever know.

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You've talked about how childhood and life experiences play a significant role in creating self imposed barriers. How can we identify those barriers and how do you think they can be overcome? Well, first of all, something else I think one should ask their grandchildren or children. And you know how they say, what do you want to be when you grow up? I don't know. I'm only five years old. How would I know? You know?

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But it's kind, like, encourage them. Tell them that they can do anything they want to do. Tell them that they're beautiful. Tell them when they do things great. We always focus on what they don't do because we have expectations. And the expectations that we have, they be like, what is wrong with her? You know?

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So I just say, as they get older, it's good, though, to find out, what do they like to do? What are their dreams? I mean, what would you like to do? Nothing's impossible. The sky is not even the limit. And I remember, just so your listeners will know, when it was time for me to go to college, I had no idea what I wanted to do. And I'm sad because everybody, my friends in college, they all knew what they wanted to do. I had no idea. I just wanted to leave home.

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And so I was like, you know what?

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It's going to all work out. It's going to all work out. So I took advantage of the placement office at the school. I had counselors and talked to them about things, and so they had companies to come, and companies came, and I interviewed, and that's how I got a job. And I'm like, okay, I think I can do this. I had no idea what I could do.

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So I'm saying that also to say that there were times in my life where decisions were made for me, and that's not always good. We need to use our voice because as we get older and we want to express things, we don't use our voice because somebody else used it for us. And my parents was my voice. They were my voice. So that's why I wanted to leave home. I wanted to have my own voice. But I realized I never had a voice. So every job I had, somebody came to me. They came to me because I was african american.

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Once I got older and figured out, you know what? I don't want to do this anymore. I've been working at this job for 30 plus years.

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You know, this job, it was tenure. So everywhere I went, there was that company bought this company. That company bought this company when I was young. We all have dreams and we daydream, and I always thought I was going be something special. I never ever knew what it was, but I just knew it was something. So then all of a sudden, I said, you know what? I always wanted to write a book, and I always wanted to empower women to be the best that they could be, all of that kind of stuff. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I had self imposed barriers. I'm not good enough. I'm black. They won't accept me. I'm not worthy. Self sabotage. I'm a fraud. I'm not as smart as they think I am. I just act like it. You know, I just present myself like that.

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I'm really nothing that I didn't think. I had enough money. I wasn't.

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I was too young or I was too old. All of those things, or everything had to be perfect. And then you decide, once you aware of what those barriers are, then you figure out, where did they come from? Where's the origin of that? You know, it's kind of like I'm a perfectionist. And I know today where it came from. My mom was perfect. Everything had to be just right. Why do you look like that? Why are you wearing that dress like that? Why do you have those shoes? It was always like that. She was very critical, so I felt I could never do anything right. So once I figured out why I had these barriers, I started thinking, like, why impostor? Why self syndrome? And then I would think, then I had to think about, what have I done well? What was I successful in? You think about and talk about what you have accomplished, because we have a tendency to think about what we didn't do, and we need to reverse the script, change the narrative, and talk about what you were good in, because everybody's not good in everything. So that's us.

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I overcame things. That's a very good point. I remember about every few days with my grandchildren, who are overcoming a lot, that they are unique individuals.

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They. They always have that voice going in their heads that said, I don't deserve this. I'm not good enough to do this. I'm not smart enough to do this. My granddaughter says it all the time, and. And I can be hard on people because my mother was hard on me, as well. So I'm constantly remembering that I need to tell her and I need to tell my grandson. Did you know you're very good at this? Right, right. So I think that's a good point to remember for all of us. Yeah, absolutely. You know, because when I got older, my mom said, I wish I would have done this, or I wish I would have told you. You were always good in speaking. You used to write when you were a little girl. She told me all of that and she says, I wish I would have told you when you were younger. I said, well, you did the best you could with what you know. Because I believe that I'm going to. As long as I stay grounded, I pray, and I just know that all things are going to work together for good. This is why I started and I wrote my book titled is your way in your way. It's a selfdevelop discovery guide for women on how to restore yourself.

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Learn from the experiences you had and be your true self again. One of my mantras is, are you living your best life? And they'd be like, from a scale from one to ten and ten being the highest, where would you say you on the scale on living your best life? A lot of people like what?

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I don't know. And that just gives you time to think about what is it that you want? What is it that you enjoy doing?

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What's stopping you? Why haven't you done it yet? There's always an excuse. I don't have enough money. I don't have the resources.

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That's not true. That was my excuse with my book. Oh, I don't want people to know my story. I don't want. It was always an excuse why I didn't. So I procrastinate and certainly wouldn't do it because I'd rather do something else. And I just think we need to. I know. I don't believe anybody's here by accident. I believe everybody that's here is here for a reason. And I believe that when you say you ordained to do something gifted to do something, because that's when you start feeling better, when you know that you're doing something that God has ordained you to do. Because then you start getting up in the mornings with purpose, be intentional about what it is that you want. Because, see, as women, we think we can do it all. We're getting so overwhelmed. We're so burnt out. I can do this and we do.

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We're very powerful. But. But there's a time in our life we can do it all, but we can't do it all at the same time. So then we need to decide what's the most important thing. Getting what I call your ego rhythm. What is a priority right now in your life? If it's your grandchildren, you focus on your grandchildren.

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If it's your job, then you're going to really be torn because you don't know what to do. So once you figure out what it is that is important. That's what you need to focus on. Because I always wondered for my employees who were single parents, how in the world do they do it? I mean, it's. And I said, well, I couldn't do it, but I always tell them, you have a focus. It's something that's a priority for you, and you need to deal with it. That way you won't be spread here, oh, I should be doing this. I should be doing that. You can't do it all. You can do it all, but not at the same time. Yes, I agree. Yes.

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Cassandra, what are you passionate about? How do you fill your day?

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You're weak. Your life right now. I am passionate about my mission. My mission is to empower a generation of women to pivot and mitigate self imposed barriers that's preventing them from living their best life. So what I do is I started with the book, I wrote the book. I have a companion journal with the book, because it's time for some self discovery. So you have to, like, do the work. You didn't get like you were overnight, so you're not gonna get out of it overnight.

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So that's my passion. So what I spend time doing is I do my podcast. I enjoy that.

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I want it to be more visible. I do speaking, I do book signings. It's just some opportunities that's come my way that I'm just in awe about. I always pray for God to conspire for me on what it is that I want to do or what it is that he's ordained me to do, and I just trust that he's going to do it. So I wake up in the morning and being the first African American, I mentored so many women. Oh, my gosh. Well, how do you do it? What did you do? I didn't just wake up one morning and get here. Your message of self care is very important. Your message of how to live a good life and think of others and help others is very important. It always brings good things back to us.

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Be leaders and set examples and inspire others. I think those are messages that are important for all women to hear. I think that your book is as applicable to grandmothers that are raising their grandchildren as they are to single women that are living corporate career. So I encourage our listeners to take a look at your book and to use your workbook, because we all need to take a little time for ourselves.

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That's right. I concur. Thank you very, very much.

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It was a labor of love, and the book is consistent of love letters. Every chapter is a love letter.

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Like, dear women who have esteem problems, dear women who have mental health challenges, dear woman who ever, ever question whether it was really a God or dear women who's lost loved ones, or all of start out with dear women, non judgmental. It's just, this is how it is. This is the summation of it. And one thing I do want to share. There was a hospice nurse by the name of Bonnie Ware. Bonnie Ware made a decision one day that she wanted to find out with individuals that were transitioning. Did they have any regrets? There were five regrets, and two of the regrets really stuck with me. The other one is, I wish I didn't work so much. I wish I was more in touch with my family. But the two that really bothered me is, I wish I could have been more true to myself, and I wish I could have been happier. And when I saw that, I was like, why can't we be true to ourselves?

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Why can't we be happy? So I said, when it's time for me to go, I want my cup to be running over, that I've done what I believe I supposed to have done while I'm here. And I say that to grandmothers and mothers, everybody, you have a gift, and I encourage them to use the gift. Get a coach, get a mentor, somebody to help bring it out sometimes. And because you can't do anything by yourself, you know, you need a support system. You need to talk about things that you're going through, but you talk about it with people you're comfortable with. Don't tell everybody your story, because we all have one.

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Can you tell our listeners, Cassandra, where they can find the information about the work you're doing, your podcast, and your book? On my website, cassandra crawley.com. i'm on all social media platforms on my Facebook.

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Go figure. Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram. I can't believe.

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Yeah. So I, right now, I am living my best life. So you can find my podcasts on my website, my book. I have a quiz on my website and asking people to say, what's your potential? If you're not sure what your potential is, take the quiz and it'll tell you which one you are, and it also give you a synopsis of what that's about in your life. And I do blogs, too. Great. Well, I look forward to looking at those myself. Listening to your podcast while I'm on my bicycle in the morning. Yeah. Mm hmm. I think these are great things that we can also breed in our grandchildren, these lessons, Cassandra, I can't imagine you doing anything that wasn't a labor of love. It's wonderful to meet you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm excited about your success with your book. I want to thank you for taking your time to encourage grandmothers raising their. Grandchildren and remember to be resilient. Resiliency is very important.

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Amen. Feel free to reach out to Cassandra at her website, cassandracrawley.com. the link is in the show notes get a hold of her debut book, is your way in your way, which was birthed from her vision and ranked the number one book and bestselling author by Amazon.

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Thanks for joining us today for another episode of grandparents raising grandchildren nurturing through adversity.

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I encourage you to share both your challenges and your successes with us. Your story is undoubtedly one someone else needs to hear. Submit your stories to the links provided in the podcast information. Your contributions will enrich upcoming conversations, creating a more supportive community in which we can learn and grow together. Thanks for joining us today for another episode of grandparents raising grandchildren. Nurturing through adversity. I encourage you to share both your challenges and your successes with us. Your story is undoubtedly one someone else needs to hear. Submit your stories to the links provided in the podcast information. Your contributions will enrich upcoming conversations, creating a more supportive community in which we can learn and grow together. Were you that kid that hated sports and were teased because of it, pushed and prodded to be more athletic and you did just the opposite?

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Or were you the kid that was very athletic and you found yourself pleasing your parents, maybe even killing yourself to be the best on the team? Well, get ready next week for an inspiring episode as we sit down with Michael Huber, a former corporate executive who made a bold leap in the world of sports psychology after nearly 20 years in the business.

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Michael's journey was fueled by his own recovery from gambling addiction and shaped by the dysfunction he observed as a sports parent and volunteer coach. In this candid conversation, Michael will share his mission to equip young athletes and their families with the essential tools to thrive in today's increasingly challenging and often toxic youth sports environment. His insights promised to shed light on the pressures young athletes face and how we can foster a healthier, more supportive atmosphere for them to flourish. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from Michael's experiences and wisdom as we explore how we can all contribute to a more positive sports culture. Next week, we sit down with the remarkable Victoria Volk, a self published author and certified grief recovery specialist who is on a heartfelt mission to help others navigate the turbulent waters of grief and loss, Victoria understands the unique challenges and emotional upheavals that come with such a profound transition.

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In this candid conversation, she'll share her personal journey through grief and how she transformed her experiences into a powerful toolkit for resilience.

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Discover her insights as the creator of the podcast Grieving Voices, where she encourages healing beyond survival and learn about her diverse offerings from Reiki and biofuel tuning to Umap coaching and her role as an end of life doula. If you're a grandparent facing the complexities of raising your grandchildren while managing your own grief, this episode is a must listen, find support, empowerment, and inspiration as Victoria guides us from surviving to thriving, helping not just ourselves, but those we love as well. I hope you'll tune in and take a step toward embracing grief while Victoria teaches us it is an important part of life as much as embracing the joys. Thank you for tuning into grandparents, raising grandchildren, nurturing through adversity. Remember, you are not alone. Together we can find strength and hope in the face of adversity. Peace be with you, and I pray that you find some time this week to listen to your inner wisdom amongst the noise and the pandemonium of this world.